What to do? I'm in a dilema


Ok, so I was on the news a few weeks ago for the damage that was done to my home from the Tornado and flooding that took place in my community.  Shortly there after the major newspaper for my city contacted me for a story that they were doing on how Hoosiers are learning to cope.  It was supposed to be done about the ever increasing gas prices, food prices and suffering from the storm.

Well, I spilled it all to the newspaper.  I am a single mom.  Everything just kind of got to me.  I lost $300 (estimated) worth of food in my fridge and freezer.  I know that I shouldn't have went on vacation, but it had been paid for, for over a year now, and I couldn't get any money back because I was within the 30 day cancellation window.

The girl who wrote the article said it was going to be in the business section of the paper.  Well, it wasn't.  It was front page.  Everyone under the sun saw it. 

Now here is my dilema.  Since it ran in the paper on Friday (and its still on the internet), I have received "hate" phone calls.  From telling me that I should have my daughter ripped from me and placed into a better home to telling me that I should kill myself.  The camera took a really bad shot of me, it makes me look a lot bigger than what I really am.  I have been told that because I don't eat, that is what is actually making me gain weight (or so my co-workers tell me). 

What do I do?  Where can I turn?  My daughter is my life, that is why that I see that its only fit that I go without so that she can have the things she needs to survive.  The comments that were left on the internet were so harsh.  I don't know any of them that had left the comments, nor would I ever want to know them either.

Here is (hopefully) a link to the story:  http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080620/LOCAL18/806200431/-1/ARCHIVE

Like I said, the pictures aren't the best of me, but I was asked to share my story and to be truthful, so that is what I had done.  Now all I can stop to think about is how big of a fool I was for even doing so and that now I have just screwed up my life even more.

Fellow peevers, any advice?


It seems that you just ...

It seems that you just said what you felt needed to be said. Who are those people to judge you when they don't even know you? And who were the people that called you?? Family?? Friends?? Tell them to mind their own business. I would not even worry about what anyone says. If you feel that you are doing what needs to be done and you feel it's the best that you can do, then hun don't worry about it. So what if the pictures weren't your best, and that you may be a bit heavy. Again whose business is that, but your own? As far as gaining weight from not eating, I have heard that you can't lose weight sometimes when you don't eat, something about your body storing fat because its not getting food. Stress also can make you gain weight. If you are having financial troubles, look for help with getting some state aid, even if you work. They base it here in MI on your income, assets, etc. Maybe you could qualify at least for foodstamps, that way you wouldn't have to do without food. Best of luck to you and I would just ignore the people that don't know you and what you are going through..Don't let it get to you, that can't be helping your stress level at all!!

<p>I just read your ...

I just read your article and what are others getting all bent out of shape about??? You were just stating how things are for you.. I am not understanding anyones issue with it, not even yours. Am I missing something there or what? It seems that you make a good salary. Do you try to budget it at all? Is that where the problem is perhaps? ..It seems with alot of people, the more they make the more they spend and get behind on things. I am not criticizing, I am not one to talk.


what is wrong with what you said???
you said that you DON'T eat sometimes so your daughter CAN!!
you even take her to meet her dad once a month EVEN THOUGH the gas is high!! what was there to hate??!! all I see is a single mom struggling to do the best she can. the ONLY thing to HATE here is that you ARE STRUGGLING!!!

Hey Navy--- bet these foul ...

Hey Navy--- bet these foul people are just envious they can't stretch money the way you do! Ignore them because they are the ones who need to get a life. Please do not go without food--- remember your daughter needs you in good health.

Unfortunately, Navy, you ...

Unfortunately, Navy, you have to develop a thicker skin. You are living your life the way you have to and/or want to. It is no one else's business, but there will always be a---oles who have to run off at the mouth. Ignore them.
When someone thinks they can make comments about you, tell them to "go fly a kite" or "f--- -ff" whichever term suits you. You let other peoples opinions bother you far too much. Continue on with your life and let them sink in their nasty little rat holes. People such as these are not important enough to waste a moments thought on.

i, too, dont see anything ...

i, too, dont see anything wrong with what you said. you gotta do what you gotta do. dont worry about the hate mail. people have no clue as to what theyre talking about. i recall my parents telling me that they lived on mcdonalds sausage patties when they first got married. so you not eating for a few days (sucks by all means) BUT if thats the only thing you can do to make sure your daughter eats. but be careful about that. keep yourself healthy because your daughter needs you to be. dont starve yourself too much. take care.

but Big Sam she's getting ...

but Big Sam she's getting hate mail/phone calls! of course it's gonna affect her...it's intruding into her privacy now. may be time for a private unlisted number change?

and conana, even if she ...

and conana, even if she eats buttered bread or PB sandwiches, that's better than nothing.

Hopefully the daughters ...

Hopefully the daughters father is paying child support, to help out that way. There is no way you should have to go without food.



Not getting any form of ...

Not getting any form of child support. The dead beat is $10,000+ in the whole and is sitting on house arrest for tax evasion. His mommy has to pick up my daughter for the visitations. He cannot go outside of his house more than 100 feet. So we all know that he can't do much of anything when she is there with him. The last time I received any sort of child support was for a sum of $4.47! Wasn't even worth the paper and postage!

The comments that were left on the site, I have not a clue at any of them who they were. I can tell you that anyone that know me, knows that I am far from the selfish type of person. To me my daughter comes first and foremost, and everyone else is second, third and so on.

I received phone calls all hours of the day and night over the past weekend. Some telling me to throw myself over a bridge and do the world some justice, to others telling me that I am an unfit parent and that they hope and pray that I lose my daughter permanently.

I have tried to get assistance. According to Indiana DCF I make $4,500 too much to qualify for public assistance of any kind, because they have to take into account child support even though I don't receive it. Which I think is Bull Crap!!!

I have tried food pantries, the same goes for that as well.

I am at a loss right now.

<p>What those people have ...

What those people have said is beyond deplorable. And while I would have nothing less than the highest contempt for them, and great sympathy for your plight, I do have to wonder, when do survival instincts really kick in? When do people in your shoes realize what is going on and vote appropriately? It DOES make a difference.

I'm no fan of people running to "entitlements" when they're capable of working and just lazy but that doesn't appear to be the case with you and I know it isn't with many people I know. The jobs were just shipped overseas and there has been only an all out war waged on the working poor and middle class for entirely too long. It has to stop. Enough is enough. Real people are really getting hurt and even dying from it every day.

Please vote in November for the party that will do more to take care of you and less to shove you further towards the grave as they have for nearly a decade.

Sorry if anyone doesn't like the politics. DEAL WITH IT, it's real and it's threatening little children and people you know, not some total strangers but people like Jennifer here.

It's no joke. And to those who always do this, go right ahead - go on and be your usual callous selves. Call me a names, go ahead. Call me a troll for caring about people who I don't even agree with all the time, people like Jennifer. It only shows what you're made of. I've seen better stuff in the bottom of a full Port-o-pot.

TGIX,I only called you a ...

TGIX,I only called you a know it all (kinda) once..hehe..

so those assholes count ...

so those assholes count child support that you DON'T EVEN GET!!??

do they know he owes over 10,000 bucks!!?? I think it's safe to say that you're NOT getting money from the deadbeat dad and they should NOT count him as ANY income!!!! so they can give you the help you NEED!!

Navybrat, is it a ...

Navybrat, is it a budgeting issue? It seems like 19,000.00 a yr after taxes CAN BE enough for 2 people, IF you budget. Do you get your hair and nails done, eat out, any of that? Again I am not criticizing, just inquiring.

shaybabe, don't worry. If ...

shaybabe, don't worry. If I complain about being called a know it all it's only 'cause I don't know it all and I know that I don't know it all.

Ooops! Does *that* put me one step closer? LOL!

maybe a half step ...

maybe a half step closer...(wink-wink)

<p>On some level that ...

On some level that could sound quite silly, but on what is an ultimate level, my biggest fear would be to know it all.

I do know this much though. navybrat76, you would do best not to wonder about, or be angry with or despise your naysayers. They don't know you. They are cruel people to say those things. Pity them. Pity them but move on. Move right along as you do when you pass a wreck alongside the road and help is already there or on it's way because you can't save the world and saving them (those who are cruel to you) won't help yourself or your child. That is more important. They don't matter. Focus on that which does matter to make things better for yourself. I've been there and learned this the hard way. It doesn't pay to fight with those who would only drag you down. They can call you names, suggest the unthinkable. That is because they are weak. Associating yourself with the weak does not make you stronger. Ignore them, they are truly trolls. You want to improve your situation? Then do it. They are of no consequence. People who care are. You are. Concentrate your energy on the positive. It works.

I think you need to change ...

I think you need to change your number. These people are probably just pissed at themselves because they wouldn't go a day or so without eating just to make sure their kid could. They're probably just pissed because they see what you are doing is more noble then anything they could ever do.

Don't be upset at all, be proud. You said nothing wrong, and you are doing everything you can. The people calling you and saying these things are just ignorant. They should be offering to help if they have such a problem with you not eating!

As for the back child support, I saw this one on TV the other day, maybe it will help:


And I would consider talking to the court and seeing if you can stop going to see him being he's not paying. If he wants to see her he should be paying money towards her well being. Instead it's just using up your money trying to go see him.

Navy, try not to dwell on ...

Navy, try not to dwell on the things people are posting about you. And don't keep going back to read the posts over and over again -- it'll only keep you stressed out. All over the world, there are people up to no good, just waiting for something to bite on. Just keep moving forward, you'll do fine!

I don't trust anything a ...

I don't trust anything a newspaper says. I mean think about it - what does a newspaper want to do? Sell papers. Fuzzy warming stories don't sell newspapers. It's sad to say, but really it nobody wants to read those types of stories. Yeah, we all say "wouldn't it be nice if they wrote the good stories" but then we would have the same response to every story we read. Newspapers want to sell stories that make you feel "oh that's so sad, those people" or "Oh my god that sick fuck, they should castrate him" or "oh so gas is going up again".

I learned not to trust what papers say by knowing all the info about an article that was written. It's sad they do it too, makes me wonder if it would be considered slander?