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Not so much a rant as it is something I just want to get off my chest.

When Adam and I first talked about our wedding plans, we wanted to do an outdoor ceremony. I want a small, intimate reception. He wants a traditional family-style reception. I agreed on the traditional reception. Upon discovering that we couldn't have the reception site we loved during October, we changed the date to mid-November. Thus ruining the outdoor ceremony plans since it will be butt-ass cold out (usually). Now I just REALLY want to do the outdoor ceremony in the forest preserve. No bells and whistles. Just our closest family/friends and dinner afterwards. I decided to bring this up to Adam during lunch today since we still have a year and 4 months before the wedding date. We got in a bit of a fight over it. Apparently, a large, traditional wedding is very important to him. While a small, intimate wedding is important to me. It's just frustrating trying to find a common ground since we both want total opposite things. I was willing to have the traditional large wedding, but the more I thought about it, the less interested I was in planning it and the more I wanted to have the small wedding.

Like I said, not so much a rant as it is just an annoyance.

On the upside, we're giving Abby a bath today. She's a little-miss-stinky-pants.

Comments

Ultimately is is you and ...

Ultimately is is you and only you who says "yay" or "nay" because without you there will be no wedding.

However, I was writing and writing and editing and editing about how I know so much about wedding from having been so intimately involved in well over a thousand of them as a wedding photographer (as I was for 17 years) would be... naw, then I was writing about questions about who wants what for what reasons, any issues going on there about control, money, family, people you might be very against attending who'd be there if it were a bigger wedding etc.

Then, I was thinking more along the lines of how it could be possible to come up with a compromise that would not be ideal to either of you but not be unacceptable to either of you either. After all, THAT is what marriage, spending he rest of your lives together is about!!!!

JUST THEN, JUST as the word "compromise" entered into my thoughts on this someone on the TV that is turned on here said the word "compromise". That was almost freaky but you would do well to take that to heart. That IS what just happened. It was kind of freaky but it was real. Faced with this dilemma it would appear you have to really make a decision about what you value most.

wow, I see why you were ...

wow, I see why you were "conflicted" on FB! LOL! that's a hard one, maybe you can find some middle ground to agree on. just ALWAYS continue to communicate!

We didn't get a chance to ...

We didn't get a chance to address is again last night. Abby had her bath (yeah! No more stinky-butt!) and Adam had to go to bed because he worked night audit last night.

Compromise. We'll see what we can come up with. If we can just cut the guest list and have the more important people there. Unfortunatly, Adam is close to his whole family and wants them all there. Poo.

Well, I'm never getting ...

Well, I'm never getting married so I guess I can't give any real good input.....

I would say "Look hunny, I'm the bride, my daddy usually pays so we're doing things my way".

I would say that even if *I* was paying for it, I would say that even if *HIS* family was paying for it. Because seriously girl, you're a bride for ONE day and one day alone. And you know what you need for that day to be perfect, so in 3 years from now the only person that is going to care about your wedding being perfect is YOU.

Usually your issue is the ...

Usually your issue is the other way around. I wish you luck in figuring it out.

I am all foe eloping and then having a reception if you want. Wedding planning sucks. My hubby and I eloped and didn't tell anyone. We had a semi formal reception just to appease family. Luckily we were both happy with that. It was soooooo much easier.

The thing with eloping is ...

The thing with eloping is that Adam considers it "not a wedding." "It's like we're not married." He wants it to be memorable, traditional. All that stuff. We talked about it in extent the other day and he mentioned that maybe we can have the small, intimate ceremony like we want. But then a few years down the road when we can afford it, have the traditional wedding with a reception with all our friends and family. A vow renewal. Ok, fine and dandy. But I HATE the idea of only a few years later having the vow renewal. I see it as "What's the point? We JUST got married a few years ago (2 or 3). It's not like 5 years or 10 years later." The whole argument is that he wants the reception. And he thinks that the "quickie" ceremony won't be memorable. He's picturing it as, "Do you? Do you? Ok, you're married."

He just doesn't get the concept that at the end of the day....we're married. Regardless of HOW it happens, the piece of paper states we're married. He just wants the "party" to celebrate it with his family/friends. And there's nothing wrong with that...except we can't afford a 10k party-the kind that he wants.

*kicks Adam*

Conana, perhaps this would ...

Conana, perhaps this would go far in going your way IF you would just TELL Adam about us and also tell him it was the PAST! I promise to NEVER come around again and leave YOU alone! (c;}