Yes, some of you already have seen this one, I posted it last year plus it IS making the rounds again in the email rounds. . .

HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season Author Unknown

Mass. cops puzzled by butcher-quality meat chunks

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. – Police are trying to figure out who keeps leaving chunks of meat on the town common, and why. Police said residents have been finding butcher-quality cuts of meat on the common for about five weeks. In the most recent incident, a resident discovered a large piece of raw, unwrapped meat, along with what appeared to be a liver and some bones on Tuesday.

Police Lt. Paul Shastany said someone may be trying to poison animals, so the meat has been sent for testing.

___

Information from: MetroWest Daily News, http://www.metrowestdailynews.com

http://bacontoday.com/bacon-brownie s/

I dare someone to bake these then report back to us on how they taste!

This is a dumb question. I know I will probably get razzed. I don't care. Please answer my question. What does caffeine look like?

When they remove it from coffee, cola, etc., are they taking out a liquid? is it clear? Hmmm? Yes, I am serious.

between working every day and going straight to football/cheerleading practice for my son/daughter, I'M BEAT!!  we get home after 9:00 every night from practice and then have to get ready for bed, eat, luckily I make sure homework is done BEFORE we leave.  while I'm at the park. I'm working the concession stand for the games going on.  and the LINES NEVER STOP!  last night we must have gone thru about 4 cans of nacho cheese, 2 cans of chili, and I don't know how many bags of fries, nuggets, nacho chips and hot dogs!!!  at around 8:30 we ran out of cheese and didn't bother to open any more (we did have some cans left) cuz we knew we'd be leaving soon.  it was UNREAL!  and the candy, chips and pickles these kids eat!!!!  not to mention the soft drinks and gatorade too.  I don't know HOW these people sleep at night after all that JUNK!

here is my fortune…

"Life is not a struggle.

It's a wiggle."

lol, that made ME giggle…

first off, this is a double rant!

first, THE WEATHER!!  my kids didn't have school today because of it.  the wind was kickin ass and takin names!!!  blowing stuff all over, tree branches EVERYWHERE and trying to DRIVE was HORRIBLE!!  not much rain today OR yesterday either, BUT the WIND!  WHEW!!  I went to work but there was no power so we weren't there long, maybe 2 hours.  so after work I decided to TRY and get my disaster relief food stamps.  which leads me to my second rant…

the food stamps!  I got there about 11:30 and got IN the building at 1:30!!!  that's how long the line was, but it kept moving so it wasn't bad and with the wind outside, it cooled us off as we waited.  but that isn't even my problem.  my problem IS all the "foreign" (hispanic) people in the line to get them!!  one dude had a HONDURAS passport!!  I SAW IT!!  HOW the EFF can they be getting LOUISIANA food stamps??!!  once the line moved inside the building, I noticed that there was a separate line for these "foreigners".  I don't know if they got the same amount we got but I do WONDER WHY they even QUALIFY to get them!!??  I was able to get $643 for one month, just a month which is ok for me, for a family of five.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26623057/?GT1=43001

it turned out to be pretty cool for a birthday.  haven't had a real good one in a while.  I had to work, but it was ok cuz my co-workers surprised me with a cake and ice cream!  when I got home, I had a couple of b-day cards, one from David's parents with 50 bucks in it and another from David and the kids with a $50 itunes gift card!  I already had a cake at home as well.  Later we went out to eat with the kids to Miyako, a hibachi restaurant!!  it was so cool and fun to watch the guy put on a show with the food.  the kids LOVED it and I hadn't been to one since I was a kid.  the food wasn't bad either.  it was a little pricey (116.00), but what the hell, it was a special occasion. 

along with all of this, David had an interview with Shell Motiva (a chemical plant) and they HIRED him.  he should start in Oct.!!!  so bye bye Fedex for him.  he was so happy and excited.  that's the job he wanted cuz he did his internship there.  I'd say all in all, it was a good day.  AND today I'm off from work so I get to chill today! maybe get my nails done and wash my truck.  Life can be good when you least expect it!

this was what my fortune cookie said:

"if the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't."

I had to read it TWICE to "get it"!  LOLOL!!!  I guess I'M simple…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/ id/26320912/?GT1=43001

What are you thoughts on this subject?

I think it should be lowered. An 18 year old brain is old enough to be sent to Iraq but not good enough to enjoy a beer? If you ask me if anyone deserves a beer is our military men and women irregardless of age!

I don't buy the whole brain development thing, If I'm not mistaken our brains can continue to develope well into our mid to late 20's. I will also argue its more a maturity thing, I know of 16 year olds that can handle booze better than a 30 year old.

Lets be honest here an underage kid can easily get beer or liqour. They steal it from YOUR stash or get someone else to buy it. Prohibition has never worked and never will, instead of making spirits illegal lets educate our teens about the risks of alcohol abuse. 

I respect all the wonderful work MADD has done but they're way off base here.

I need a favor, everyone! I am going to Vegas next summer and I want to lose a few pounds, so I bought a toosmallonpurpose dress. I have a year to lose a few pounds and having a goal to fit into this dress is my incentive.

BUT I am not having any luck. I exercise for 1 hour 5 days a week and have cut down on certain foods. But I just don't feel like doing it.

Here's where you come in-every so often someone post here with encouragement for me. I'll read it and leave a reply with how I'm doing. My co-workers and family are helping me, too.

I did this trick last year and I did it. That dress was cute, this one is slutty!  I want to be able to walk down the Strip in a slutty dress and turn heads. I was able to wear this dress before kids so I know that body is hiding in there. Help me get it out!

What's up with these "fancy" companies doing things to chocolate? Seriously- rosemary? lavender? chili?

I just want my good old fashioned-PMS satisfying-weightgaining MILK chocolate! OOOh-that sounds good. :::off to get some:::

Are Fat Calories More Fattening Than Carbs?

"Drink 8-8oz. glasses of water a day". 

"Only eat certain kinds of fish (and a certain amount) because of mercury".

"Soy is good for you".

What do these sentences have in common?

These are what health officials have told us. Now they are saying they aren't true. They even changed the food pyramid! Make up your minds! "I'm so confused" :::Vinnie Barbarino voice:::

I spoke to my doctor about that and he told me bodies aren't interchangeable so work we with my needs, but STILL…

At least I can have good ol' eggs again.

Is it just me or is the food there just not very good anymore? The last few times I've stopped the food has been sub-par with most of the order ending up in the trash.  Did losing the hot coffee case affect thier ability to produce decent food?  It looks like I'm switching to Wendy's!

In general, I'm not annoyed when someone wants to take a bite off my plate, to taste something they've never tasted before.  I'm not a germ-a-phobe.

I do have a problem however with a particular person that ALWAYS wants a bite of whatever I, or someone else we're with, is eating OR drinking!

Twice I've heard her tell the same person "Oh, a margarita, I've never tried one of those before, do you mind if I have a small taste?"

This is a REALLY BAD and annoying habit, and I'm sick of this person always taking a bite of my food before I do!!

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a name for this condition? There must be. 

Drew Carey orders 45 pizzas shipped cross-country

Thu Jun 26, 5:07 AM ET

PARMA, Ohio - Drew Carey really, really loves the pizza from Antonio's — so he's having UPS deliver dozens of the pies from Ohio all the way to Los Angeles.

The Cleveland native often stops at the Parma pizzeria for a pepperoni slice when he visits town. But this time he placed a tall order — 45 pizza pies — to celebrate Saturday's season finale of his CBS game show, "The Price is Right."

The pizzeria's owners say the order will cost Carey $450. That doesn't include the steep price of delivering the pizzas thousands of miles away.

http://www.nojazzfest.com/

all the crazies come out again, like a second Mardi Gras.  we have jazz fest this weekend and next weekend and I don't live near it, thank goodness, BUT it's gonna be crazy around here the next 2 weekends. And that's all that they talk about on the news.  I'd like to go BUT it's SO friggin expensive for tickets, not to mention the food, drinks and souvenirs once you get in!!!  Oh well I guess I'll stay in for the next 2 weeks!

I started buying Miricle Whip in the plastic container that has the lid on the bottom, and you squeeze to get it out. I noticed that I was starting to run low the other day (I got the beloved fart sound from it). I figured that being gravity exists on our great planet that it also effects Miricle Whip. One would think that being Miricle Whip is heavier then air it would slide to the bottom of the container, hence the purpose of the lid on the bottom.

Nope, not true. Apparently Miricle Whip is lighter then air, and does not slide to the bottom. I went home for lunch today, and thought I was out half way through making my sandwich. I took the lid off and there was TONS of Miricle Whip left in there. So, just like I had to do on the old BIG containers that opened from the top, I had to stick my knife in there to get it out. Well, unlike the old containers that open from the top, the opening is MUCH smaller on the ones that open from the bottom, making it near impossible to get more out, and TOTALLY impossible to get to the top of the container. Can someone explain to me why we put the lid on the bottom if Miricle Whip is not effected by gravity?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23770665

I'd been to his house over the years to see he Christmas display, it was phenomenal. his restaurants are pretty good too. what I wanna know is what the hell he was doing in Germany??? on vacation? I know he was going thru some pretty bad custody issues with the previous wife too. All I can say is I PRAY he had an UPDATED will cuz he had been married a "few" times!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/2371595 4/

 Thank god this guy won.  What is so wrong with telling someone if you want good service in here you should be able to speak English?

The people who don't like this business owner's policy can go eat somewhere else. You see, we live in a capitalist society, this means that so long as you have money you can frequent whatever business you like! The businesses that make money stay open, the ones that don't accomdoate the needs of the public will go belly up. Simple economics, right?

Whatever happened to the immigrants that used to come to this country? It used to be that when a family came from another country they wanted to adapt to American customs, now we're supposed to adapt to them.  Does anyone else see the flaw in that twisted logic?  We have precious little culture here, compared to other countries, then we have to give that up for some other country? BullSh&t I say!

I am not bashing immgrants, they are part of what has made America great, but we have to dry a line somewhere. I do think we need ONE national language that you must learn before you get citizenship along with all the other requirements that go along with it.

Anyone who says that citizens of most other countries speak more than one language are full of it!  Japan's English speaking people tend to be rich businessmen, go to the streets and you'll find most people do not soeak English. It is pretty much the same in every nation you go to. Arabs want us to revere their culture? They wouldn't do the same for us, go Saudi Arabia and tell the Royal Family that they had better respect your culture, they'd throw your carcass in the desert for the wildlife to pick at.

In closing, this is our home and we have every right to demand respect from those who enter it. If these people can't or won't adapt to our home then it's time to send them home. The political correctness crap needs to come to end, I think we can all agree on that.

…is a recipe, well not exactly a recipe, per se, but something fun to make. My kids wanted some beignets yesterday and I remembered when I was younger that we had a way to make some rather than going out and buying them or making the kitchen a complete MESS if we bought the beignet mix, which is sold locally in our stores.  One can call it a "poor man's" beignets, if you will, BUT they taste just as good my way.  Maybe nestle9 and chubbymouse know about this already, being that they are near me.

First, you'll need some biscuits, NOT the butter flavored kind, but the plainest kind you can find, I used the Winn Dixie buttermilk roll of 10.  if you want bigger ones, you can use the "Grands" size, but the inside may not cook well enough, you'll need to be sure it cooks fully.  

Second, get some powdered sugar, any brand will do.

Third, you'll need some cooking oil, YES, you will NEED to fry them…that's how they're made!  what I did was open the roll of biscuits and cut each biscuit in half so you'll have 20 little half moon shaped "donuts".  Make sure the grease is REALLY hot because you want them to float as soon as you drop them in.  You'll need to flip them over to brown them on both sides and also to make sure that the inside is cooked, you'll need to hold them under the grease for about 10-15 seconds or you'll have a mushy center when you bite them.  Then take them out and lay them on some paper towels to saturate some of the grease out of them and sprinkle some sugar on them!!!

Fourth, ENJOY!!!  and let me know how you liked them if you get to do it!!  Here is the site for our local beignet place, for those that don't know about them:

 http://cafedumonde.com/

http://travel.msn.com/Guides/article.aspx?cp-documentid=465473&a mp;GT1=10856

A friend of mine had been working for Old Country Buffet for a couple years now.  He came to work today to find the doors locked with a note in the window saying this location has now closed, the employees were given no notice this would happen. What galls me is that this seems to be happening more and more often! Michigan has the worst unemployment rate in the US, why couldn't they have given these people some notice and not leave them in the lurch?  I realize that these companies do this because they think that if they give notice that employees will quit before closing, but it'll take months to find new jobs.

Yet another reason to not trust Corporate America. I'll be adding this company to my personal boycott list!

LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley and Jenny Craig may have gone their separate ways, but the one-time "Fat Actress" isn't giving up on the weight loss industry.

After lengthy negotiations, regretfully the Jenny Craig Company and I did not come to an agreement to continue as their spokesperson, Alley said in a statement posted on People Magazine's Web site Tuesday.

Alley, 57, told People that while her experience with Jenny Craig was "extraordinary," she wants "to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride."

Alley said she intends to develop her own weight-loss brand with plans to launch in 2009.

"We are sorry that she did not accept our offer" to continue appearing in the company's ad campaign, Scott Parker, vice president of marketing for Jenny Craig, told People. "We wish her all the best in her future endeavors."

A message left with Alley's publicist late Tuesday was not immediately returned.

Alley, who starred on Showtime's reality-comedy series "Fat Actress," became a spokeswoman for the Jenny Craig diet program in 2005. About a year later, Alley donned a bikini to show off her new shape on "The Oprah Winfrey Show." At the time, Winfrey said Alley, who is 5-foot-8, had lost 75 pounds, after hitting a high of 220 pounds.

Alley's TV credits also include "Cheers" and "Veronica's Closet."

it is soooo funny at the same time!!!!

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it?
They have come out with some clever new flavorings.
 
DO YOU KNOW… the difference between margarine and butter?
 
Read on to the end…gets very interesting!
•        Both have the same amount of calories.
•        Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.
•        Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of Butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
•        Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
•        Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!
•        Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
•        Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.
 
And now, for Margarine…
 
•        Very high in Trans fatty acids.
•        Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
•        Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
•        Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.
•        Lowers quality of breast milk.
•        Decreases immune response.
•        Decreases insulin response.
 
And here's the most disturbing fact…. HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!
 
•        Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..
 
This fact alone was enough to have me avoid margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).
 
You can try this yourself:
 
•        Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:
•        No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)
•        It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it even those teensy weensy micro-organisms will not a find a home to grow.
 
Why?  Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
 
Share This With Your Friends & Family ….. (If you want to 'butter them up'!)
 

It was bad enough with the lead in the toys, and the Date Rape drug in the kids paints, but CHINA, THIS IS NEARLY ENOUGH TO GO TO WAR OVER!

If EVER there was a time to STOP buying Chinese products, American CITIZENS, that time is NOW!

As Ben Franklin said:  In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
freedom, in water there is bacteria.
 In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have 
demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
 would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli)-the
bacteria found in feces.  In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of
poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila,
 rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
 Remember:  Water = Poop,     Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink
 water and be full of ****.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  I'm doing
it as a public service.